Only In My World
That being said last Friday I married the most wonderful woman in the world. After over two years of flying from America to Europe and her from Europe to America we finally got a chance to settle down and marry.
But the wedding didn't go as we planned!
Our original plan was to go to Las Vegas to get married (she wanted the Elvis wedding, I wanted Austin Powers) but my father suggested that we come down to their beach house and get married there. We were even hoping to a beach wedding.
A friend of my parents suggested a wedding chapel and I called and made reservations for what seemed to be a great deal. We would get married on the beach, by a preacher that didn't care that she is Lutheran and I am Catholic, we would get a medallion for Colby to "unifiy" the family bond. Sounded like a great deal right?
While I was in Japan I had a dream that they lost the reservation so I instant messaged my mother and asked her to call the place to reconfirm. A few minutes later she says that the place didn't know the package I wanted and didn't get the deposit. Total crap because the lady talked me into the above package and said we didn't need a deposit. No worries though, I sent my information to my mom to give to the lady in charge and she came back with "your card is invalid". Not declined, but invalid. Funny because I just used it to order Cdub's WORLD-1 flight two minutes before. So I call on Monday to give her the number again and she says that it was still coming up invalid. I told her that maybe she needed to reset her machine and call me if there was any more problems. No call, no problems right? Well you would think so.
Saana, Colby, Allison, Saana’s mom, and Dicky Landell (My new heel name for Ricky Landell) headed down to North Carolina on Wednesday night and stopped off at my parents house in Fayetteville before heading off to the beach. After getting our marriage papers me, Saana, and Ricky drove and my crappy cell phone died. Not only did it die but we went to a McDonalds. So you are saying “What’s so good about a McDonalds that you have to mention it?”
I guess there is no other way to say but to be blunt. The three of us witnessed two flies having sex! Yes, sex. Can I say for sure that they were getting it on? No, but this one fly was on top of this other fly for the duration of my chicken sandwich. Some good staying power I must say. From what some guys have told me, much better then Landell! Only kidding. No I am not.
Once we got to the beach I knew right away that we wanted to move there. I don’t know if anyone has ever heard of Emerald Isle, NC but its beautiful. I also heard that Vince McMahon’s mother-in-law lives there. Maybe I should look her for some brownie points with the Boss! Could you imagine the conversation.
Vince’s Mother-in-law: Hi Vince, a nice young man named Steve Corino come over and brought me cookies today. You should think of hiring him.
Vince: Who the hell is Steve Corino?
That’s how I picture that conversation going.
After a great night of sleep it was crunch time for the wedding. Saana and her mom spent all morning getting her hair and make up done and I had a feeling that I better go check out the marriage chapel because I had a feeling everything wasn’t perfect.
My dad and I go and we see this place. It looked like a run down shack. No lie. Nothing like it did on the website and it was NO WHERE near the beach. So I call the number on the door (no one was there at 10am for a 2pm wedding of course) and the lady answers and says “Oh you are getting married today right?” Not seven words you want to hear four hours before taking the plunge. The building already looks a mess and now this lady isn’t sure if the wedding is today! She then goes “You should have called me this week. I left you a message.” Now I know I am very Heyman-ish on returning phone calls but I would have remembered that. The she tells me “I will call you back in 30 to 45 minutes.” WTF? 30-45 minutes? Its four hours from go time lady!
At 11:30 no call back. Now I am going crazy. Two hours and 30 minutes left and its looking at we have no chapel. Plus the chapel is supposed to be on the beach and there wasn’t even sand in the parking lot.
We stop a Baptist church down the road from the beach house to ask if the pastor could do the ceremony and we got told that because we are not members of the church the pastor would not do it. Meaning that this church believes that if you are not a member you are not good enough to get married in front of their God apparently. Considering that this church, and don’t get me wrong I am not saying all Baptist churches do this, is a Christian church and Catholics, Lutherans, and Baptists all believe in God and Jesus Christ, wouldn’t you be an honorary member already? Well either way I am now at two hours and counting.
We get on the phone (now Saana knows nothing of what is going on at the moment because my dad is intercepting calls saying everything is great) and call every minister we can find. We had friends of friends of friends making calls.
At 1:15 we got someone. And this guy is going to marry us on the beach just like we wanted to originally. All is well right? Pretty much but now we need to describe the scene!
The minister also owns the Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream shop down the street. Yes, we got married by Rev. Cherry Garcia! No he didn’t bring ice cream to the beach. I wish he did though. Ahhhh Chocolate Fudge Brownie!!! MMMMMMM.
As Saana, who looked beautiful may I say, was walking down the beach instead of the “wedding march” Cherry Garcia was humming the Olympic Theme. Not Kurt Angle’s theme but the actual Olympic Theme. I had to turn to him and say “Is that the Olympics song you are humming” and in great southern fashion I got “I think so man.” OH MY GOD I am getting married by Chris Hamrick I thought!
But all in all the ceremony was wonderful and we all had a great time.
Did anyone see the fight between the Chicago White Sox’s (and TNA’s) AJ Pierzynski and the Chicago Cubs Michael Barrett? I am sorry and it might be the mark in me but I could have sworn that one SIMON DIAMOND might have put a bounty out on the ChiSox catcher! Think about it. Diamond is a former catcher drafted by the San Diego Padres. And he had that feud with Pierzynski in TNA last year. Think about it!!!
On a serious note I want to congratulate my pal CW Anderson for signing with the WWE for the new ECW project. CW getting a contract is long overdue in my opinion and it going to be great to see him get a chance on a national level. This ECW project is interesting because it could go two ways. One way is that it could fail, as with anything in life but on the other hand I think with RAW, Smackdown, TNA, and ECW on TV fans have alternatives again. Maybe to the normal fan that doesn’t read the Internet will think that it is three or four companies and competition is good for business. McDonalds needs Burger King, Coke needs Pepsi, and I think the WWE needs TNA and ECW. It could be good. I am really hoping it would be and believe it or not I actually think it will. Dreamer and Paul are smart and if WWE lets Paul be Paul it could be exciting.
This weekend is 1PW and Colby and I are off to the United Kingdom for a weekend of good wrestling and fun! You can watch the 1PW shows on Internet PPV at MediaZone.com.
And finally I just purchased the Bill Watts book for the plane. So far its good and I am not even up to the Mid South stuff yet!
Expect a Old School Book Review in the next blog/live journal.